Deep Dive December

It feels like the end of the year is coming in fast, like a train gathering momentum, and at times it can feel overwhelming. I’ve felt heavier, slower, and quieter, as if more change was on its way. And while I’ve done a lot of therapy over the years, recently I’ve found myself asking: What does it really mean to look at your shadows? After all, it’s hard to create a new beginning when part of you still feels anchored in the past.

So, in November, I dove into Reiki Level 1 and 2 training to understand how energy works on a deeper dimension. I needed to experience it in a new way, to support my work, my students, and the journeys I hold through Psychedelic Breath. And perhaps without realizing it, I was preparing myself for something to rise to the surface.

In beautiful divine timing, when I phoned my teacher from my 500-hour Yoga Teacher Training in LA, Carolina Goldberg, that I wanted to learn Reiki, she immediately agreed to come to Mallorca to lead the training. She didn’t need convincing, it aligned effortlessly with Earth Yoga, as if the whole experience had already been set in motion. She stayed with me for a few nights, and on the morning she was leaving; I was in the kitchen tidying up while listening to my audio book The Energy Codes by Dr. Sue Morter. The chapter was on the Solar Plexus, the third energy centre. The colour that represents this chakra is yellow; it relates to our inner powerhouse, the seat of self-esteem, self-trust, and self-worth. Something in me already sensed that this chapter would land differently.

As I was listening, Dr. Sue began explaining how blockages in this energy centre might show up: low self-worth, overachieving, constantly trying to prove your value to yourself and others. Her words moved through me like truth. It felt like she was speaking directly to me. I knew, in that moment, that I was blocked and I knew exactly where it came from. Being adopted, the old imprint of not being wanted sits deep in my cells. Naming it felt like the beginning of more unraveling.

Just as this realization landed, Carolina walked into the house. I turned to her and, without thinking, blurted out, “I’m blocked in my Solar Plexus.” Suddenly so many pieces were clicking into place, my obsession with yellow this year, all the yellow dresses, shorts, and bikinis. A woman from my Psychedelic Breath class shared that her ability to see auras came back through the breath work session and that she saw a yellow aura me. Another woman here in Mallorca who works with Quantum Healing phoned to say she could see yellow in my field, which in her world signals inflammation. And to top it all off, I even have a yellow phone cover. It felt as though the universe had been placing breadcrumbs all year, waiting for me to finally see the path of synchronicity.

Carolina took my hand and said, “Let’s go look at that and see what we can find.” That simple sentence softened something inside me, the permission to look, without fear.

Through her incredible energy-healing gifts, she went to work. She could sense there was a blockage in my heart, and as she touched into it, the dam broke. My body was holding emotions that weren’t even mine, passed down through my biological lineage: stubbornness, lack of support, low self-esteem, and terror. As all of this was unfolding, it didn’t come as a surprise, I could feel these emotions running deep in the cells of my body. What I understand now is that this work isn’t here to hurt us; it’s here to reveal what has been quietly shaping our lives from the shadows.

Maybe there’s a question of inquiry that stirs inside you as you read this. This is why I am sharing my truth — not for sympathy, but in the hope that it inspires and encourages you to be honest, to look inward, and to meet the parts of yourself that are ready to be seen, released, and transformed into light.

Remember, your body always tells the truth first; you just need to tune-in to listen.